1993 Snapshot

Welcome to Movie Life Crisis.
Join us as we watch the best movies from 30 years ago.
Then we go, hey, welcome.
Yeah, alright.
Movie Life Crisis bonus 1993 snapshot episode.
We don't ever know what to call these, but basically we're going to go through quickly
some kind of bullet points of things that were happening in the world in 1993 so that
maybe some of you guys who were alive then, I'm sure if you're listening that you were
alive then.
Yeah.
Yeah, I remember that.
Right.
That happened that.
So we have like six pages of bullet points of things that happened and we're just going to
kind of power through.
Welcome to 2023, I'm JT with me, it's Jeff, we're Movie Life Crisis.
Here's what was happening in 1993.
First thing I got on my list is the Waco Siege.
Oh, yeah.
Branch Davidians.
The Branch Davidians from the Branch of David compound in Texas, the FBI did the thing and
they spent.
It was like 30 days or something like that.
Yeah, it was, it was a while.
Almost 30.
Did you, do you remember that?
Like I can remember what the building looks like.
I remember being in junior high and like watching parts of it on TV and I don't know
why because it's not fun to watch.
It's just like stationary shots of a ranch with FBI agents leaning against their Suburbans.
That's what I was saying.
I can totally remember people like leaning and like opening big pieces of paper on
the hood and like looking sunglasses, windbreakers, looking at a thing that just looked like
a barn that was built like a storage facility.
And I didn't look into this.
I don't remember why they were even being besieged.
Do they like what's, if they just were locked up into their compound and they were
being weird, what did, why did we even need the FBI for that?
I legit don't remember.
I, I also don't remember.
I probably should have looked that up.
That's on us.
That's whatever.
It's a lot of stuff happening.
Let's move on.
Keep going.
The Mars Observer NASA, NASA loses contact with the Mars Observer spacecraft, bringing
an end to the mission.
She, I guess, basically exploded right around the orbit of Mars because there was some fuel
tank mishap.
Yeah.
And it was made to explode.
It was space.
Right.
It's not, it's not Star Wars yet instead of the sound of the explosion, you heard the
sound of 980 million dollars going whoosh, right down the toilet.
Dude, that's money.
We'll spend.
Are you kidding?
Does it drop in the bucket to get to Mars?
That's awesome.
Such a tiny amount of money that we definitely didn't need for roads or schools or infrastructure
or anything like that.
Power grid.
You know what we could take it from?
Defense.
Well, we do have several concept planes that are going to cost over one point something
trillion dollars that have never actually been produced.
That's a lot.
I thought this was the Mars satellite that flew right past Mars because they had made
NASA or JPL had made some error in how they, it was basically a metric to standard unit
conversion that they'd messed up.
Oh, man.
But that one was a couple of years earlier.
That was in like 80, no, 89, maybe might have been later, might have been 99.
Why are they still using standard?
It seems like we would use metric in space just because everybody else is helping in
space.
Like the, yeah, the ISS has to be metric, right?
Well, I think that was the problem is that they have multiple companies working on these
things.
Maybe JPL was working in standard and NASA was working in metric and they built different
parts of the module and they had to interface.
But it's basically someone screwed up a conversion and this thing was right on past Mars.
That's awesome.
So I thought it was that one, but it's not again, even if that one was another 900 million
totally worth it, completely.
Money well spent.
Okay.
Great pictures.
Is it sailed by its coal?
Yeah.
Look, but he kind of makes some, it breaks some eggs to make some omelets.
I don't know.
When we were in college, engineering is a world where they care about the units.
That's matters.
Yeah.
And freaking Kyle would like lean over during a class and like copy and answer off my paper
and it would be, I'd have like, at 28.62 meters per second squared and he would just
write like 29 circle it.
Mike, what do you, what do you got?
What are you doing there?
29 what?
Was that 29 muffins?
Like you're not even, you're not doing the work and you're not even copying all of
the answer down.
Um, Jake is at that point in math where he needs to put units because it'll be a word
problem and at the end I'm like, dude, you didn't put, you've got to say dogs.
Well, dad dogs is what we're looking for.
It's like, I know, but you have to put dogs at the end or it doesn't exactly, doesn't
work.
Nelson Mandela and F.W.
to clerk were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize 93 for their efforts to end apartheid in South
Africa.
That's, that's big.
That was big.
Nelson Mandela, I didn't remember F.W. to clerk.
I, I also, I mean, I've heard the name before, but I don't think I knew, I think he
was president during that time.
Yeah.
And honestly, I was so young.
I don't know that I really knew what the word apartheid meant.
I just heard a for a long time people like, yeah, part time we got to get rid of that
is totally, does that anything like mayonnaise because I want to get rid of that too?
No, it's, um, you know, we should find somebody that was alive during apartheid South
Africa, uh, time and grew up during that time and then have them run Twitter.
Oh, wait, it's too late.
Done and done.
We can cross that off of our to do list.
Yes.
Cool.
Thirty years later, we got that fixed.
Hooray.
All right.
Bill Clinton becomes president of the United States.
Yeah.
There's a terrorist attack on the World Trade Center.
Giuliani becomes the first Republican mayor of New York City in 20 years.
Dude, I did, I knew about the World Trade Center bombing.
I just didn't realize like it didn't do anything.
I mean, it did stuff.
Yeah.
Well, they drove a van into a skyscraper like it was, it was terrorizing, but the building
was fine.
Yeah, but they, I think they meant to blow it up from the parking garage under it.
And it was going to bring both towers down, but they just did the math right.
They use the wrong units.
Yeah.
They use the conversion.
Hockmeade was using the, they were in kilograms and they should have been in pounds.
Right.
Cause when they bought the nitrate, the ammonium nitrate from the, yeah.
Feed store.
They bought it in pound.
I don't know.
That's not true.
Yeah.
That's not what happened at all.
But it did kill six people.
So it was pretty bad.
It did.
And injured over 1000.
So from that point of view, they mission accomplished, I guess.
I don't know.
Can we not blow stuff up?
I'd be cool with that.
Can we not talk about the World Trade Center and then say mission accomplished behind it?
Well, the World Trade Center came out ahead on that one.
World Trade Center won.
Van explosion zero.
Yeah.
I could go.
Last episode of Cheers aired.
Yeah, man.
275 episodes.
275 episodes.
25 episodes.
25 episodes per season.
That's awesome.
In the early 90s, they released 20 volumes of the VHS cassettes on VHS.
Each cassette had three half hour episodes.
Every 90 minutes, every hour and a half, you'd have to change the video cassette to
watch more cheers.
Yeah.
It's like how Netflix does now if you've been watching for like three episodes, they
put a thing on the screen and they go, are you still watching and you have to click
the button?
Yeah.
It's like that, but you have to physically get up, go to your VCR, remove a tape, put it in a
different tape.
Plus, your dad put the wrong tape back in the wrong sleeve.
So when you pulled it out, you weren't on volume three, you were on volume eight and you
had to find volume three.
So it was a mess.
The dark days.
Yeah.
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, live action, superhero TV series premiered on Fox Kids.
Real fast?
I never watched that.
This was me neither.
This was, I guess I was too, I don't know, cool old to old to watch it by this point.
Dude, they took like actual scenes from the Japanese version of this show.
It's like interspersed within the actual episode.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Like when they're like going through all the different power ranges and they're doing
their little karate moves, that's just the Japanese thing that they'd already filmed,
which is ridiculous.
I had no idea.
I thought they were the new people.
I just sold throw in there for you.
In the 20 seconds we spent there talking about power ranges is more than I care about talking
about power ranges.
Food network premieres.
Yes.
Food network.
Most popular TV shows from 1993 in order, 60 minutes home improvement, Seinfeld, Roseanne,
Grace Under Fire, Coach, Frazier, Murphy Brown, Murder, she wrote, Thunder Alley.
I know all of those except Thunder Alley.
Same, Thunder Alley, I don't know, but I remember the rest of those really well.
Who's the big blonde tall guy on coach?
I don't know.
Dobber.
Dobber.
Oh, no.
Sorry.
Snackwell's reduced fat cookies were introduced.
Dude, I remember distinctly because I think your mom and my mom were both the like aerobics
age moms.
Yeah.
It's like, look at these.
They don't have any fat.
And we're like, hell yeah.
These and they taste great.
And then like 10 years later, we're like, oh, they just have a lot of sugar cookies never
had a lot of fat, really.
And we all got sucked into that one.
Yeah, boy, did we?
Luckily they also didn't taste great.
But when you washed him down with a nice cold tab, it was like, well, dude, the crazy
thing is you'll still go like, I'll go buy gummy bears or something.
And they go, hey, fat free.
And I go, all right, fat free.
I'm glad these aren't the heavy fat gummy bears who makes gummy bears with fat.
Yeah.
Like just like Seinfeld's fat has got fat in it.
It's going to be fun.
It's fun.
And people around the grocery store.
You look pretty healthy.
What are you eating?
Yeah, that's fading.
Right.
It's not ready yet.
I'm in.
I have to sign into law by Bill Clinton.
Beanie babies are launched to former police officers convicted of violating the civil
rights of Rodney King.
Yeah.
Cowboys win the Super Bowl, Bill's lose three in a row.
You want to talk about the ads?
Yeah.
Cost of a 30 second Super Bowl ad back then was $850,000 in 2022 or for this Super Bowl
coming up, it's going to be seven million.
That's a pretty big jump.
Dude, think how many ads NASA could have bought instead of building the satellites they
kept messing up?
And what would you say in a NASA ad during the Super Bowl?
We're super good at unit conversions.
Look at us.
We swear.
If I was an inch off on a roof and I was a roofer, it'd still be serving time.
NBA champion Chicago Bulls.
This is the middle of their first three Pete, the Jordan Pippin three Pete.
Yeah.
Justin and Wimbledon both won by the same male female Pete Sanper's stuffy grass.
Steffy graph.
River Phoenix overdoses on the sidewalk outside of the Viper room in Hollywood.
Yeah.
Prince changes his name to a symbol Snoop Dogg releases his debut album, Doggy Style with
the Houston breaks the number one single record with I will always love you for its 14th
week at number one.
And what did it be?
And out into the road, which charted for 13 weeks at number one.
Yeah.
One of the lists that I put on there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So 14 weeks also was I'll make love to you by boys to win.
Yeah.
And then I will take a day and like six is going to come take it down.
That knocks it out at 16 weeks to this other songs like do you know what the the biggest
number one ever is now is is it old town road old town road, 19 weeks, 19 weeks.
Dude in Despacito for 16 weeks would be number two, I think or tied with once we day once
we day.
Right.
Does it count if it's non-consecutive because Harry Styles has as it was a song that I don't
I don't even I don't know feelings about it.
So like I don't it's weird that it was 15 weeks, uptown funk.
I got a feeling by black eyed peas and we belong together by Mariah Carey all 14.
Like dude, I don't how did they make it that long?
How did macarena make it for 14 weeks at number one?
What are we doing?
Oh man, when we get to the year that macarena takes place, we're going to have to break
that down because that was a strange time in music because I remember by like week two,
everyone that I knew was like, I can hate this song and anyway, like another 13 weeks to
go.
Yeah.
I don't know.
That's to me.
That's the same.
Hey macarena.
Hi.
I just remember every time they went, hi, I would always go like I was hacking up a luge.
All right, dude, isn't this the same time though is like who let the dogs out and live
in La Vida loca and weird stuff like that?
Yeah.
That is a weird time in music.
Cool.
All right.
Microsoft Windows 3.1 was released on floppy on five.
It was on seven floppy disks and by the end of December, the internet started to really
take off.
There were 623 websites.
It's a lot of websites.
Yeah.
623,000,000 internet users worldwide.
Yeah.
Right now we have about 1.14 billion websites and 5 billion internet users.
Yeah.
63% of the population on the globe uses the internet and I have no idea what the rest
of those people are doing.
The rest of those people don't have internet access or they would be doing it.
Dude, it's not like they're going, no thank you, no internet for me please.
They're like, we don't have me saying like, that's such a craziness that they have to go
through life like that.
Yeah, dude.
That's like most of Africa.
I look up stuff on the internet literally every hour.
All the time.
It's crazy.
I couldn't even imagine it.
Wait.
This video game section that I have here, is that your favorite games or the most popular
games of the time?
Those are a little bit of both.
There was a couple of them that were really far down the list that I bumped up because
I knew it because I liked them.
But like the top doom, mist, Sam, Super Mario and Aladdin are all, those are the
textual top five.
Man, I remember that Aladdin game.
That was like a side scroller way to, yeah, yeah, climbing run and jump.
And they had the medium version of one jump ahead of the bread line.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exhwing.
That's this iconic game for me and you.
Yeah, big time.
Although I like Thai fighter better.
Some consumer products launched in 1993, Beanie Babies, Belvedere Vodka, Pepsi Max and
Zima.
Yeah.
Do they still make that?
They don't make that anymore.
Do they?
Like Zima might have just barely missed the mark because now all anyone drinks is like,
it's like vodka sodas and a can.
It's all I ever see people drinking, although I think Zima was maybe a malt liquor.
Zima is in under specialty and beer alternatives and it's only sold in, no, they'll ship
it to you.
I was going to say it's only sold in Colorado.
It's still available.
You can get a case of it for $40.
Cool.
I think I'm all set there.
Yeah, it's pretty gross.
I didn't like it.
Some world stuff.
The first high speed train travels from England to France via a channel tunnel, which we
now call the channel.
Channel.
Public will be able to use it in 94, but they've, they're test drive in in 93.
So the tunnel, the channel connecting England and France, Pablo Escobar, drug lord is
gunned down by police in Columbia.
Why do you, wait, real fast, why do you think they went with channel?
It's because it's faster to say like, I don't, I like English channel tunnel channel tunnel.
No, I don't.
I understand that.
I'm saying like, how did we get to channel?
Like I guess it's like through the channel, right?
I know like, but like benefit and like just mixing two things together.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I like channel.
I'm glad they went with that.
That's all.
I mean, both of those words have the same number of syllables and the same four trailing
letters.
It seems like that was inevitable to combine them that way.
No, the channel.
I like channel.
All right.
So yeah, Escobar gets gunned down by police in Columbia, a 7.8 earthquake off a Hokkaido launches
a huge tsunami, which kills a couple hundred people and Okashiri, Hokkaido, that was a big
earthquake.
Yeah.
Tsunami is your terrifying.
Yeah.
Agreed.
A leap second adjustment is made to time to synchronize clocks worldwide with Earth's ever
slowing rotation.
That's ridiculous.
Yeah.
Yeah, that we've had to do it 26 times since 1972.
Yep.
And in 1972, we started it by doing 10 leap seconds to get us back on track.
I don't know.
I'm glad that I don't have to be the one who figures out.
Hey, we need a second of time added here.
Everyone gets together around the world and do it now.
Think about the conversions that you would have to do for that one directly into the Earth's
Sun now.
The mass trick treaty assigned formerly establishing the European Union.
Yeah.
European Union starts.
Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
And it immediately collapsed into a socialist hellscape where everyone has health care and
all the roads and schools are good.
And it's totally disappeared.
Nope.
It's still going strong.
Everything over there is nice.
No, because the United Kingdom broke away.
They knew better.
And they definitely don't want back in yet.
Right.
But wonderfully for them.
Ben Johnson is banned from athletics for life.
Ben Johnson was a guy who could run really, really super fast.
Super duper fast.
And it turns out that steroids help with that.
Animal steroids is awesome and a bunch of stimulants.
Do you know what else is cool is Carl Lewis for the US because Ben Johnson is Canadian.
Carl Lewis also tested positive, but we all like him and he still has lots of endorsements.
I don't know why that worked out for him.
What's the fricking, what's the rush hour joke got me jumping off of buses?
I am not Carl Lewis.
I mean, Carl Lewis was super fast too.
Also super fast.
I'm here to tell you that Ben Johnson without steroids is still super fast.
I'm sure if he's 60, he's still way faster than me.
Set the bar pretty high there, go over to yourself.
I'm just saying, you don't go from fastest man ever to not fast at all, no matter
what kind of drugs you're digging, right, right, right.
US and Soviet Union signed a nuclear reduction treaty to reduce the number of nuclear warheads
by 3,500 each.
I'm sure both countries followed that formally to the letter.
Yeah, they got rid of them and said no more.
We're never going to do that again.
We promise.
We don't come check, but we definitely got rid of them all.
And don't look at my fingers behind my back that are crossed.
Monica Celes got stabbed by a spectator during a tennis match.
What's the one thing you remember about Monica Celes to her being stabbed?
The only thing I can remember and I only bring it up because more recently I was at
my sister in Los House and I played ping pong.
And when we were playing, I went with the Monica Celes.
Yeah, I went with the Monica Celes every time.
And until somebody said, please stop doing that from the other room.
I used to really like it and everybody really hated it because your mom liked it.
And it's my mom liked tennis, they liked my mom.
I can remember my mom watching like Wimbledon and going, I just wish she would stop grunting
like that.
She's hitting it really hard.
She's trying really hard.
I don't know what else to tell you.
I played on the tennis team in high school to get out of having to do off season conditioning
for basketball.
Good goal.
And Peter Walker was my doubles partner.
So we got together to avoid basketball conditioning and we would go to his house and eat
chips and salsa during tennis practice.
And then we'd show up for like the last 15 or 20 minutes because we didn't have a tennis
coach.
We just had like a teacher.
Nice.
Faculty liaison.
Yeah.
Faculty liaison.
So you just take a basket of balls and just like whack them at each other for an hour, but
we would skip even that.
That was too much force.
Nice.
So we did not do great during the season.
We got to shit kicked out of us in every single match.
Yeah, of course.
But we always had a lot of fun because we would make stupid noises like that while we were
hitting the ball.
Yeah.
And we'd double over laughing as the other team was mop in the court with us because we were
doing stupid fake grunts while we were hitting.
Why wouldn't you make stupid grunts?
If you're not going to, if you're not going to do that, why even play tennis?
Yeah.
I mean, you know, the tennis team in St. Thomas was just like the Stevens girls are going
to destroy over on the women's side of the tennis team and then we're pretty much screwed
for all the rest of it.
So yeah, who cares, but I didn't have to run for basketball.
So it was fine.
Yeah.
That's why I was on the swim team.
No running.
Yeah.
Also, they give out chartreuse ribbons over there.
So I get a nice brown ribbon 14 place got a brown 17th place ribbon did pretty good.
Did all right.
Okay.
Don't like to brag.
Oh man.
Yeah.
Got a couple third place ribbons from the four by one hundred relay.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Where the gorys are carrying the whole thing on their back.
Ah, good stuff.
All right.
Let's do some 93 cost of living stuff yearly inflation right below 3% right now.
It's 9.1%.
That's so much.
That's a lot.
Yeah.
It was like 15% at points the last year.
So I'm happy we're in the single digits.
Right.
Dow Jones closes 3800.
It's now 80,000.
That's a lot higher too though.
Yeah.
Interest rates.
That's 10% and 93, 4.5% now federal minimum wage went from $4 to $7.
It's a big jump.
Things have gone pretty well.
Let's see.
Did you know there's no state minimum wage in Louisiana?
Hmm.
I didn't.
They have to use the federal minimum wage.
That's why it's always going to be whatever the federal is.
Well, I think it's interesting to see that the Dow Jones went from 4,000 to 80,000.
So it went up by 20, 20 times, and the minimum wage went up by not even two times.
Right.
Of course it didn't.
So wages have not kept up with productivity or the stock market.
Oh, it definitely hasn't, but we all knew that.
Average cost of a new house, $113,000 and $93,348,000 now.
So that's tripled income, $31,000 now up to $54,000.
So that has like minimum wage, only not tripled or 10x or 20x.
Almost doubled.
Well, like minimum wage, it's not quite doubled.
Right.
Average monthly rent from $532 to $2,500 a month.
So rents have gone five x.
House prices have gone three x.
Wages have gone 1.8.
Not as many x's as you want with the wages.
Not to, we're not economists here, but the point is that shit costs more, but we don't
make any more.
Right.
But, I mean, we do, because we didn't make anything in 1993, but we don't make, by comparison,
as much as people our age would have at that point in time.
Correct.
Gallant of gas, $1.16 in 93, now we're up to $3 a gallon.
It's really high.
That's really high.
I mean, I don't pay for gas anymore, really, but yeah, that's still pretty high.
Movie tickets, $4 and 93, now we're up to $10.
I don't know where you can get a $10 movie ticket because they cost way more than
that in Nashville, but that's the average everywhere.
So even if you're talking about a meet where you get to bring your own chair, it's cheaper
in other places.
The 3D movies, though, average $17 in some change, and iMacs are $19 in some change.
I don't care about either of those types of movies.
I do like the rumble seat.
Yeah, AMC has this thing where when the base hits and the explosions, it rumbles the seat,
like make sure butt jiggle.
The only thing I care about is the recliner chairs, most of the regal theaters in Nashville
have the recliner seating, and if they don't, I'm like, what the hell is this?
This sucks.
A full-in chair.
I'm out of housing.
Dude, I saw one of the new Spider-Man movies when we were in Costa Rica a couple of years
ago, and I was like, oh, it's like $2.50, I'm going to go see the Spider-Man, save
some money.
It was like the size of a one-car garage, and it was concrete floor, and it was literal
metal folding chairs.
I was like, oh, okay, now I see why it was so.
How was the movie though?
It was still good.
Yeah, it was great.
It wasn't loud.
That's the thing.
It was loud.
I had to learn how to ask for popcorn in Spanish, and then they were out, and I was like,
well, shit, I didn't learn the names of any other snacks.
Now, what do I do?
So I was trying to act out what kind of candy I wanted.
It was ridiculous.
I need snack wells and a tab, snack wells.
Do you guys have Zima?
Almost, I'd say, Zima.
Average cost of a new car, $12,750, now it's 48K, so car prices, 4X.
Yeah, did you know that the Ford F series is the number one selling car?
Yeah, in 93 and now.
So I knew that already, but even if I didn't, there's no way I could not have known
it, because my parents were here for Christmas, and my dad spent a considerable chunk
of that vacation, bitching about how Ford doesn't have new F-150s, because they're missing
a chip, and it's like, you can't get one, he's like, people are getting pissed off.
I don't know what the hell they're doing over there, I'm like, well, think they can't
get the chips.
Why should you get rid of them?
I'm like, well, they probably do important stuff for like, emissions or something, or like,
or they think that they're about to get a shipment of chips.
I don't really say, well, people are going to start buying other trucks.
It's like, I don't think they care.
I think that's the best selling truck ever.
It's what I'm saying.
I don't understand.
See, but your dad uses the back of his truck.
Yeah, he does.
I'm like, he put stuff in there.
I know there are people that have spent $85,000 on a truck, and they have a hard cover
on the back, and they never put anything in it.
I mean, I have a truck that was my grandpa's truck, and I never very rarely do I use the
back of the truck.
I'm all the time going like, I don't even know why, I wish I could get rid of that.
Does it have a chip?
Can you give that chip to your dad?
I know, could I uninstall it?
Yeah.
But yeah, he's like, well, they don't have a Coke.
We're getting out of here.
Over to Buckets of Shit, because they serve a Coke.
Go ahead and give me the Chevy Silverado.
Yeah, so the Ford F-Series pickups and the Chevy full size pickups were the number
one and two vehicles and 93 and they're the number one and two vehicles now.
That's crazy.
Lofa Bread, 79 cents and 93, $85 now, mayonnaise, 99 cents now up to 548.
And the reason I put just these specific things on there is because I was trying to think
I was like, what do we do in 93 that like, what it was the one thing I used to go to
the grocery for that can remember sometimes, not all the time, snack wells, snack wells and
tab and Zuma.
I can remember my dad's going, Hey, St. Sir playing today after chair, whatever, we're
going to run to the store by like a freaking French bread and a bunch of ham and cheese
and we'll just make big ass po-boys and stuff or like, we'll fry some shrimp and put
those in a po-boy some stuff like that.
So I was like, let me find just the stuff if I was running to the store just for that,
how much it would cost and it's considerable, it's more than double.
So yeah, it's crazy.
So Lofa Bread, Mayo, pound of ham went from 229 to 565, a pound of cheese, 335 to
608, and a bag of Doritos, 288 to 469.
And by the way, on my lunch break at school, I went to the Dollar, not Dollar Tree, Dollar
General, whatever, whatever the yellow one is.
Yeah, I got a black one.
And I walked in and they had a big bag, family-sized a Doritos right by the door.
I was like, I'll just take this, the guy was like, all right, that'll be 603.
And I was like, oh my god.
No, I just need the one-bought bag.
I don't buy 603 for a family-sized bag of Doritos.
That seems really expensive even at the time.
Well, and it's, I think one, one of the things that's happening right now, first of all,
from this stuff you just read, bread is twice as much ham and cheese as twice as much Doritos
or twice as much mayonnaise is like five times as much.
Right.
But those are grocery store prices.
If you, like, one of the things I've noticed since inflation is going really bad in the
last year or two is if you go, like, if I go to Walgreens, which is a block from my house,
and I go get a frickin' Diet Mountain Dew, 120 ounce Diet Mountain Dew is like, 279.
And if I go to the grocery store, which is another several blocks away, so that, not
training for the Olympics, it's like half the price still way too much for, you know, colored
fake sugar water, but if you go to a gas station or a dollar store or like Walgreens and
get like, I'm gonna get some Doritos, but hand over your wallet.
It just seems like so much and I don't want it to be as much.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, me and you are in a position where it's like, oh, $6 for Doritos, that's
a lot of money.
And then you forget about it and you go on about your day, like, what about the people
who's $6?
Like, well, I can either have these Doritos or I can't pay my electric bill.
Right.
I guess I just am not gonna eat now.
Yeah.
That sucks for them.
Because everything's tripled their wages have not tripled.
Yeah.
They'll have to walk to the grocery store and pay less.
Yeah.
Tuition to Harvard, $23,000 in 1993, now up to $52,000, so it's doubled.
Yeah.
I feel really bad for the people that go to Harvard.
Let me play a tiny violin for them right now.
Right.
Look, schools, we did this last year.
Universities are way expensive.
Yeah.
If you're going to Harvard or Princeton, that probably is money well spent.
If you're not, it may not be.
Right.
It may.
If you're going to freaking LSU, and it's six times more money than it was, maybe we would
think about that.
Yeah.
That's a tough thought though, because man, let me tell you, even in high schools today,
they're push college, and dude, college is not for everybody.
We probably talked about that last year, but like, it's, they're pushing it hard.
Yeah.
Top toys of 1993, the magna doodle.
That was my jam.
I love the magna doodle.
That was the, um, it was like the edges sketch, but instead of having a little twisty wheels,
you had like the magnets that you'd used to draw and they were different sizes.
Yeah.
And they had the different shape magnets.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I remember that.
I don't think I ever had one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the bottom that would swipe it, and it would wipe it clean.
Nice.
I liked it.
Matchbox motors and car wash, um, so matchbox cars were around for a long time, but this
was the plastic car wash that had real water and then a little spin cycle where you drive
the cars off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You could spin it really fast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was really nice.
And then the Nerf Aerostorm, the little Nerf Gatling gun that lets you shoot six arrows.
I never had that.
We weren't allowed to shoot stuff at each other.
I feel like we probably had that, but we only would use it in the house.
Yeah.
We don't want to lose any of the arrows.
That's where all the valuable stuff is.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We never had that.
My sister and I, we could never play, uh, shoot stuff.
My mom would always be like, hey, can we pick a different game?
Um, so we always pick something different.
What about sun staring?
Does it get activity?
Does it get activity?
Does it get activity?
Do we used to, uh, take, uh, dish rags and hide them under big piles of pillows and blankets
and play like double dare and like the one person would go in the other room and that person
would hide them.
And then you'd grab them and shove them in your shirt like double dare and then take off
to the next pile.
That's the kind of stuff we would do.
We wouldn't shoot at each other with stuff.
I think, I think with the Nerf guns, we would do like an American gladiator type of game
where you set up couch cushions and one person would have the gun and you'd have to try
to run like do a high school course thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's cool.
That's good stuff.
I don't have anything else on this list.
Did you have anything else that you want to hit that we skipped?
Pretty much it.
I threw some stuff in there that I wanted to say.
So yeah, we're good.
Um, cool.
So real quick before we get into Jeff's vignette about an evening at Pizza Hut, which
will end this episode, which he prerecorded, I was just going to give you guys highlights
as some of the movies that we're going to do.
Just give you a little taste of what we're looking at because it's a pretty incredible
year.
So, uh, groundhog day, sister act two, sand lot, Jurassic Park, sleepless in Seattle, tombstone,
program, demolition man, Rudy, Mrs. Doubtfire.
It's a lot.
It's, uh, it's, it's pretty great, man.
We're having a hard time making the 27 movies planned right now.
And I already, we're already leaving out stuff that we don't want to leave out.
Right.
Yeah.
I was thinking that we got some great stuff coming 1993, super excited for season three
movie life crisis.
And we'll be back next week with our first movie True Romance.
True romance.
Uh, dude, I don't think I've ever seen it.
Have you seen it?
I don't honestly, I don't remember.
I feel like I have, but I don't remember for sure.
Yeah.
So I watch the trailer to try to see and I definitely, uh, I don't think I've ever seen
it.
Uh, should I preface the, uh, the pizza thing with what can I say something about that
right quick?
Yeah, yeah.
So this vignette that I'm doing, uh, first of all, um, I don't have a lot of time to write
this stuff.
And over the Christmas holidays, I had been, uh, watching a lot of Christmas story
because my daughter's way into that now.
Uh, so we were watching it a lot and I'm listening to Gene Shepherd give the narration
and he uses tons of huge adjectives that are make it very, uh, visceral and real to hear
how he says it.
Uh, I wanted to try to do that and I even tried to do my own impression of Gene Shepherd.
Uh, but it's just me recording, uh, a writing about going to pizza one night and I tried
to throw as much nostalgia as I could.
So, uh, hopefully you like it and if you don't, that's okay too.
If you like it, feel free to join us on discord or Twitter and, uh, tell us what you liked.
And if you don't like it, then just click on through and we'll see you next week for true
romance.
True romance.
Uh, I'm going to go have a Zima.
All right, everybody.
Happy 1993.
Bye, Candillas.
Bye, Candillas.
You wake up to the droning sound of your alarm clock and your head slowly rises off
the impossibly soft pillow.
It's like every other morning, you're a groggy and you don't want to wake up, but you
remember that today's an extraordinary day.
You remember that it's Friday, sometime in 1993 and your parents said that you could
have friends over to your house and they could spend the night.
It's going to be epic.
If not all together ambitious, they said you could procure a movie from the local blockbuster
and get something that which every kid in the 90s once pizza, plus you have conceived
a plan to stay up later than ever before.
That is, once you make it through perpetually the longest day of school.
But if you can succeed in this challenge, you will be home free.
Now, the term longest day of school doesn't even scratch the surface.
It took forever.
Every teacher felt like they were talking eternally, even computer class, which in this
case was not anything like today's computers had a teacher pontificating a long monotonous
spiel about Charles Babbage being the father of computers.
Then, there was math.
I think we all have an opinion of math.
Still, the passionless sterile anemic wave this teacher was teaching made it seem like
she wanted it to feel like it was so mind-lummingly-sajoon that it nearly broke my spirits.
Big recess was not much better, picking teams for church parking lot and two hand-touch
football took forever.
Then, once you finally started your team through it for kickoff and the other team kept
yelling, no take, no take, no take, just take the ball and start the game, you eccentric
weirdos.
We're going to end in a tie ball game, not an up and zero.
Is that what you want?
What is this, soccer?
Even PE could have been better, PE, physical education.
It was like having a whole other recess.
For PE, the bar was set so impossibly low that no matter what you do, it guarantees that
time passes quickly.
So let's see what we have on the docket today.
Do we play kickball or maybe basketball?
No.
Do we get to play volleyball?
Nope.
Not even nukem.
Will you throw it over the volleyball net?
No.
Do we play dodgeball where you launch big rubber balls at unsuspecting people's faces
or even battle ball with the yellow paddles and the tiny orange ball?
Nope.
So what did we play?
Well, we played a random game that I'd convinced coach Johnny made up just to watch us hate.
We had two rectangular boards at each end of the field, each with a square hole near the top.
The idea was to throw the ball through the hole.
It was a team game and it was kind of like handball.
You couldn't run with the ball only pass or shoot it.
It was fine in theory, but the boards were plywood connected to a pole mounted in a tire
filled with cement.
There was no definitive lines for out of bounds.
People were not stopping completely when they caught it.
There was no goalie, so it was an all-out offensive shootout.
Of course everyone thought they were Joe Montana or Nolan Ryan and tried to shoot it and
if you overthrown the goal on one side, it left the grassy area behind the junior high
building, sailed into the street or even into a person's yard who lived next to the school.
So you resigned at the fact that nothing will make time go faster today.
This school day will be interminably long and unbelievably dull.
So when school is decisively finished for the day, you needn't wait much longer.
As you can home, you begin laying the groundwork for the arrival of your friends.
You have all the CDs and your CDKs ready to go and some very lofty ideas about what to
rent when you get to Blockbuster.
See, choosing the perfect movie can make or break an entire sleepover.
If you remember last year at that sleepover, when your friends dad chose the movie for
the party ahead of time and suggested toys because it had Robin Williams in it, what a stinker.
Luckily, that party was saved by the second movie.
Captain Ron Captain Ron was a groundbreaking thought-provoking and emotionally
charged film that left us in awe.
The nuanced performance is brilliant cinematography and masterful storytelling made this
film a toward a force that forever changed the outcome of that party.
Captain Ron is a cinematic masterpiece destined to become a classic that will surely be remembered
for years.
I wouldn't be surprised if 30 years later, some genius watches it again and remembers
it fondly like a childhood puppy.
It is a must-see for any set of file looking for an intellectually stimulating and profoundly
moving cinematic experience.
So you've been talking it over with your friends and you're pretty sure that you'll
rent the good son.
It has my colleague,
Culkin, and he was hysterical and home alone.
So this one will probably be super fun too.
And if that movie doesn't pan out, son of the pink panther will be your saving grace.
That cartoon has been one of your favorites for years.
There's no way that the movie that you're hoping it is could be about a live action
inept French police detective.
So the plans are all in place.
There's nothing like hanging out, devouring pizza and watching a hilariously funny movie.
When you get home, your mom inexplicably tells you that there's been a change of plans.
Your mind races what could this mean?
Your brain fills the split-second of silence before she tells you and it's filled with
impending dread.
All those times you didn't do the dishes every time you didn't do your homework.
Or could it be the time that your brain called that random number and pretended they were
the lobby of a fancy hotel and you told them that you were out of toilet paper?
They of course star 69s and your parents picked up.
That's it.
That was the reason your mom had changed the plans.
You knew it was stupid when you were doing it.
I'm out of toilet paper, who does that?
You're funnier than prank calls and you didn't want to do it, but you got caught up
in the hype.
Now it's coming back to ruin what could be the best night of your adolescent life.
And what?
For a few measly laughs, you slowly raise your head to make eye contact with your mom and
brace yourself for the bad news.
But to your amazement, there is no bad news.
Your mom informs you that, if you want, you and your friends can go to Pizza Hut for
dinner after picking them up.
You can barely believe your ears.
It's amazing enough that you are going to order pizza, but now you're going to get
to eat in the actual restaurant.
This is a whole different experience.
It was a treat, nay, and honor to get to eat inside the restaurant.
The culinary experience that you will undertake is nothing like you have in your normal
day-to-day life.
Welcome to the most delightful dining experience you'll ever have.
This is the perfect place to enjoy a sumptuous meal in, if I do say so myself, a rather
elegant setting.
You and your nerdy friends will undoubtedly have their little round purple bucket pens
on their shirt, and their reading award certificate, which of course is good for one free,
one topping, personal pan pizza.
The personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut.
These things were a culinary delicacy.
They're delivered to your table in an actual cast iron skillet that is tempered around
7,000 degrees Fahrenheit, cut into four tiny slices, soft and buttery with crunchy crust
edges and all that melty cheese it was unbelievable.
The pizza had chefs are masterful at creating delectable cast iron masterpieces bursting
with flavor and expertly craft with the freshest ingredients.
This may be the highlight of your entire year.
And then you ask in what you can assume is a futile attempt to elevate an already extraordinary
evening if you and your friends can get the salad bar too.
And as if the heavens had shown their divine light on your plans, they actually say yes.
What has happened?
Up is down, right as left cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria.
You absolutely cannot wait for tonight.
The Pizza Hut salad bar is impressive to say the least.
Sure, you've heard your dad talking about how they're capitalizing on the buffet trend
that's sweeping the nation, just like the windy super bar, but you can't help it.
You've been taken too.
Now truth be told at home, salads are not exactly the first pick of the draft.
At home, salads are the mediocre second fourth round pick you've gotten a trade for a washed
up offensive lineman with the Eagles.
But a salad from the salad bar at Pizza Hut is amused to inspire the artists of the world
to create masterpieces.
This salad bar is a veritable feast for the senses with a plethora of fresh, colorful ingredients
to choose from.
The vibrant array of greens, vegetables, fruits, dressings and puttings are all expertly
arranged and meticulously maintained to ensure maximum flavor.
So whether you like a simple side salad or strive to make a salad that can include
beets, peas and chocolate pudding, there's something for everyone at the salad bar.
It's truly a culinary masterpiece.
When the time comes to actually leave the house, you could even more excited getting in
your mom's van.
Leaning between the front seats, you push in the cassette tape adapter that came with
your Sony car discman.
This was the only way you could listen to CDs in your car, and this one had DSP, digital
signal processing.
I mean some call it ESP, electronic skip protection but it meant the same thing.
The CD wouldn't skip if you were driving and hit a pothole.
But luckily you live in Louisiana, a place known for its smooth roads and safe drivers.
So you really didn't even need it.
Now you want to start the soundtrack off to your epic night gently, there's no need to
rush in.
Unzip your CD behind your right on the front page of the hundred CDs is the newest Tony
Tony Tony CD.
You pop it in and play track one.
If I had no loot starts to play, you set down the discman and sit back in the middle
seat of your mom's minivan and let the night begin to wash over you.
It was a short drive to pick up your first friend.
Well what do you play next?
Do you step it up a notch?
There's always a chance that your mom will not like the song and turn it down, ruining
the vibe set by such a legendary song choice.
Or worse yet, try to talk to your friend and ensure the song choice goes completely unnoticed.
You decide to appeal to her taste as well as your own and put in the CD single in the
still of the night by boys to men.
With mom confidently singing along, you've felt self assured that the stars are now
re-aligned and the night will go right.
You search to find the CD single sweat by inner circle.
This reggae fusion hit was perfect.
It was almost finished as you pulled up to your other friend's house.
As you pull up to the restaurant, your excitement has reached a fever pitch.
You freak out for a split second because you can't find your super reader certificate.
It turns out it was in your CD case pages between Color Me Bad and Dr. Dre.
Walking in, you discuss the books you read with your friends to get to that 10 book
threshold for the free pizza.
You explain with some regret that you phoned it in and read scary stories to tell in the
dark.
At first, you felt bad because they were written for little kids, but then your friends
said that they read Dr. Stewart's another little kid's books from their little brother.
Then your other friend chimed in and said they just made the books up.
Why didn't you think of that?
Suddenly, you don't feel as bad.
You walk into the first door into a small vestibule.
As soon as the aroma from the inside is sucked out of the doorway and into your face, you
realize that you may have peaked.
This may be the absolute best that it's ever going to get.
And everything you do for the rest of your life will just be trying to recreate the joy
you're feeling at this very moment.
A brand new arcade game is across from the door against the wall.
It was afterburner by Sega.
It wasn't the ultra cool sit down one that you could find at the gold line across the
street at the Hammond Square Mall, but it was still amazing.
Super excited you turn the corner and the place is bustling with action.
A baseball team wearing red uniforms sits with four tables pulled together.
The dad's drinking 64 ounces of Budweiser out of a pitcher and the kids drinking
gallons of Pepsi from pebbled red plastic cups.
A half wall separates the dining room and the counter to place your order.
On the dining room side is a jukebox filled with walled walled jams from the 80s and 90s.
And next to that was a tabletop miss-packed man.
And finally, there was the buffet.
The buffet.
Wood paneled bottom with an accident of white, red, and green tiles.
There was a salad bar with all your favorite salad fixings.
Every salad accoutrement was piled high like spices in a Moroccan marketplace.
There were two types of lettuce, multiple kinds of cheese, succulent cubed ham, and of course,
the PA's day resistance, chocolate pudding surrounded by kale glistening and the bowl waiting
for you to partake.
There are also all types of dressings on the salad bar.
But who's eating any of the dressings except for ranch?
There's nothing lower on this planet than pizza joint salad bar, thousand island dressing.
Hey, you know what this salad might need?
How about ketchup?
No, and mayo.
And you know what?
Mix it with pickles.
Disgusting.
A wooden sign with words, please wait to be seated, written in black calligraphy is right
near the door.
As we waited to be seated, I even got more excited when my parents handed me a $5 bill
and said, place some songs on the jukebox.
$5?
I don't play 20 songs.
Do I even know 20 songs?
The answer was of course, yes, but what when I play, when the choice has to be narrowed
down to three, it takes four thoughts, patience, so now I can just pick whatever music tickles
my fancy at that exact moment.
The person who put money in before you also played some interesting music choices, so naturally
you can assume that as soon as sweet child of mine by guns and roses is finished playing,
you should be able to hear your songs.
Little did you know that there was still a pump up the jam by Techno Tronic and Aiki
Breaking Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus to finish before your music starts.
While waiting for these songs to finish, you flip through the random assortment of CDs
they have for selection in the jukebox.
You find the land on a list of choices.
Now in 30 years, this 80s and 90s mix that you come up with would become a nastalgically
charged celebration of the best decades of pop music, featuring an eclectic mix of catchy
upbeat hits and soulful melodic ballads, this mix would be guaranteed to transport you
back to a time of neon leg warmers and boob boxes.
This mix would be a treat with its high energy beats, memorable hooks and iconic artists.
After making your selections, you walk over and meet your parents sitting in a booth under
a neon illuminated clock that says it's always time for pizza with a red and white checkered
tablecloth.
Your dad is pouring his first beer from the picture and your mom is smiling at you, beautifully
lit by a Tiffany style stained glass pizza hot lamp.
She can tell you're happy and you can tell that makes her happy so you lay it on even
thicker.
You compliment her and tell her she looks beautiful under the gorgeous lamps.
You tell her that they remind you of cheers and your dad laughs and reminds you and everyone
else at the table that you've never even seen cheers.
The pizza was great and even though the personal pan pizza was small, it was filling
enough for a meal, especially after destroying the salad bar.
So now you had to block buster to make the rest of the night an unbridled success.
Thanks for listening to Movie Life Crisis.
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